It’s not over

It’s not over

Secondhand Serenade

My tears run down like razorblades
And no, I'm not the one to blame
It's you ' or is it me?
And all the words we never say
Come out and now we're all ashamed
And there's no sense in playing games
When you've done all you can do

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
But it's over

I lose myself in all these fights
I lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry
It's shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just wanna crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led
But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die

But it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

It's not over, it's not over, it's never over
Unless you let it take you
It's not over, it's not over, it's not over
Unless you let it break you
It's not over

Tonight

Tonight

FM static

I remember the times we spent together
On those drives
We had a million questions
All about our lives
And when we got to New York
Everything felt right
I wish you were here with me
Tonight

I remember the days we spent together
Were not enough
And it used to feel like dreamin'
Except we always woke up
Never thought not having you
Here now would hurt so much

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight

I remember the time you told me about when you were eight
And all those things you said that night that just couldn't wait
I remember the car you were last seen in
And the games we would play
All the times we spilled our coffees
And stayed out way too late

I remember the time you sat told me about your Jesus
And how not to look back even if no one believes us
When it hurt so bad sometimes
Not having you here...

I sing,
"Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight"

I sing,
"Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight"

Moment of truth

Moment of truth

FM Static

here we are in the best years of our lives
with no way of knowing when the wheel
stops spinning, cause we don't know where we're going
and, here we are on the best day of our lives.

and it's a go, lets make it last, so cheers you all to that,
'cause this moment's never comin' back

I used to know her brother, but i never
knew I loved her
'til the day she laid her eyes on me
Now I'm jumpin' up and down,
she's the only one around, and she means every little thing
to me

I've got your picture in my wallet
and your phone number to call it
and i miss you more
whenever i think about you
I've got your mixed tape in my walkman
been so long since we've been talkin
and in a few more days,
we'll both hook up forever
and ever

And here I am on the west coast of America
and I've
been tryin to think for weeks of all

the ways to ask you
And now I've brought you to the place
where I've poured my heart out a million times
for a million reasons
to offer it to you

I used to know her brother, but i never
knew I loved her,
'til the day she laid her eyes on me
Now im jumpin' up and down
she's the only one around and she means every
little thing to me

Ive got your picture in my wallet and
your phone number to call it
and I miss you more
whenever i think about you
I've got your mixed tape in my walkman
been so long since we've been talkin

and few more days
well both hook up, forever
and ever..

i used to know her brother, but i never
knew i loved her
til the days she laid her eyes on me
now i'm jumpin up and down
she's the only one around and she means every little thing to me

I've got your picture in my wallet
and your phone number to call it
and I miss you more
whenever i think about you
i've got your mixed tape in my walkman
been so long we've been talkin
and a few more days
well both hook up forever
and ever..

My Heart

My Heart

by Paramore

i am finding out that maybe i was wrong
that I've fallen down and i can't do this alone
stay with me
this is what i need please

sing us a song
and we'll sing it back to you
we could sing our own
but what would it be without you

i am nothing now
and its been so long
since I've heard a sound
the sound of my only hope
this time i will be listening

sing us a song
and we'll sing it back to you
we could sing our own
but what would it be without you

this heart, it beats
beats for only you

my heart is yours

The Rules for being Human

The Rules for being Human

When you were born, you didn’t come with an owner’s manual;

these guidelines make life work better.

1. You will receive a body.

You may like it or hate it, but it’s the only thing you are sure

to keep for the rest of your life.

2. You will learn lessons.

You are enrolled in a full-time informal school

called “Life on Planet Earth”. Every person or incident is the Universal Teacher.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons.

Growth is a process of experimentation.

“Failures” are as much a part of the process as “success.”

4. A lesson is repeated until learned.

It is presented to you in various forms until you learn it –

then you can go on to the next lesson.

5. If you don’t learn easy lessons, they get harder.

External problems are a precise reflection of your internal state.

When you clear inner obstructions, your outside world changes.

Pain is how the universe gets your attention.

6. You will know you’ve learned a lesson when your actions change.

Wisdom is practice. A little of something is better than a lot of nothing.

7. “There” is no better than “here”.

When your “there” becomes a “here”

you will simply obtain another “there” that again looks better than “here.”

8. Others are only mirrors of you.

You cannot love or hate something about another

unless it reflects something you love or hate in yourself.

9. Your life is up to you.

Life provides the canvas; you do the painting.

Take charge of your life — or someone else will.

10. You always get what you want.

Your subconscious rightfully determines what energies, experiences, and people you attract — therefore,

the only foolproof way to know what you want is to see what you have.

There are no victims, only students.

11. There is no right or wrong, but there are consequences.

Moralizing doesn’t help. Judgments only hold the patterns in place.

Just do your best.

12. Your answers lie inside you.

Children need guidance from others; as we mature, we trust our hearts, where the Laws of Spirit are written.

You know more than you have heard or read or been told.

All you need to do is to look, listen, and trust.

13. You will forget all this.

14. You can remember any time you wish.

(From the book “If Life is a Game, These are the Rules” by Cherie Carter-Scott)

Desiderata

Desiderata

by Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,

be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly,

and listen to others,

even to the dull and ignorant;they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons;

they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain or bitter,

for always there will be greater

and lesser persons than yourself.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,

for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you

to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals,

and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Enjoy your achievements

as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career

however humble;it is a real possession

in the changing fortunes of time.

Be yourself.

Especially do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love,

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,

it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit

to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,

be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive Him to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life,keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham,drudgery, and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

Dalan: 1st Bicol Film Festival

Ateneo de Naga University

College of Arts and Sciences

Media Studies Department

Dalan: 1^st Bicol Film Festival

Rex Eric R. Perez

AB Journalism-2

I’ve never been to a film festival before so I was quite excited to be one of the spectators of the first ever Bicol film festival: Dalan. I felt a great surge of exhilaration when I saw Howie Severino’s name on the program, I was thinking “is this for real?” as I examine a leaflet (from sir “Toots”) with curiosity and enthusiasm. When the day of Howie’s talk about making documentaries came, I nearly upset my digital camera as I took pictures, acting very much like a paparazzi. Too bad I have a class before the talk ends and so I left, casting an envious eye to those who were lucky enough to have no academic obligations that day. Maybe, I should spend my allowable absences more wisely next semester. But a load of 26 units and multi-faceted roles of website news writer/messenger/clerk/photographer/proofreader in the President’s Office leave me hardly any free time except perhaps a few minutes to smoke and puff out all the stress in my system. Whew, it really is tough being a scholar especially if you are naturally idle like I am…

I was amused and glad to know that the entries of the Media Studies Department won several awards. One of those films, Kasambahay has my NSTP classmate Noela as the lead actress while another was “starred” and “staffed” by my co delegates at the 2008 Pinoy Media Congress, yet that didn’t stop me from having criticisms especially about the authenticity of the latter film’s script or the concept of Necrophilia to be more specific. Because someone told me that it was a sort of adaptation of his story (this person was not part of the staff of that film) and he claimed that they (he and his friends) planned to make a movie out of it but they were disheartened after the production of the said film which curiously has a similar script as that of theirs. Anyway, this is just an alleged intellectual property rights violation. I do hope that I will have a time to get the side of the accused (not legally) party and clarify this matter just to be fair and to feed my curiosity…

Anyway, it was groundbreaking for Bicol’s Media Studies, Arts and Literature, Digital and Animation to have this pioneering film festival. Not only because of excellent resource speakers and writers like Kristian Cordero and Vic Nierva but also because of the skills honed (especially that of the film fest participants), the amount of knowledge shared to students and the great contribution to Bicolandia’s heritage that this endeavor had brought about. If there was one thing I like most about the film entries it was the fact that they are generally indie in nature, without the aesthetic qualities of mainstream films. It has been a cliché to say that “Life is so unlike the movies”. During and after Dalan, the movie industry and the media were vindicated. Indeed Mass Media should always look for fresh and creative ways to exhibit life’s truth even if these truths may be inconvenient. For life, is not all about grand entrances, breathtaking climaxes, and eventful exits. There will always be dull moments and people will not always speak words of wisdom and oh yes, it is quite unlikely if not impossible to have a rosy white skin in a tropical country like ours, unless of course you have a portable ozone layer as an umbrella. There you go about typical scenes and stereotypes which are undoubtedly the qualities of commercial or mainstream movies. It has often been said that the Media is only a reflection of society, true enough it is. But it’s a dead passive role and an incredulously lame excuse for the sake of ratings and profits. For If the Fourth Estate is to do its part in the building of a better Filipino Society it must help cultivate and affirm values and not to partake on the distortion of people’s ideas of wants and needs, beauty and ugliness and success and failure. After all, the Press is the undisputed idol of the people and precisely because it is greatly revered and have the power to persuade the populace, it might as well start being what Chief Justice Reynato Puno coined as a “Moral Force” even amidst the highly competitive atmosphere of the Mass Communication Industry.

Unang Linggo: Insomya

Lumipas ang unang linggo ko dito sa dormitoryo ng KHF na masaya at puno ng insomya. Sa pitong araw na pamamalagi ko, apat doon ang dumaan na di ako naka-idlip man lang. Bahagi na yata ng buhay ko ang kawalan o kakulangan ng tulog. Simula na pa noong ako’y hayskul pa lamang, mas dilat ako kung kailan himbing na ang kalahati ng ating planeta. Iyon marahil ang dahilan kung bakit lubos na napamahal sa akin ang pagsusulat. Sa gitna ng katahimikan ay ang lubos na kasiyahang dala ng pag-likha ng bagong mundong ako at ang bolpen ko lamang ang nakakaalam at nakakaramdam. Isang mundong hindi nalalayo sa ibat-ibang mukha ng kahirapan ng aking pang-araw araw na daigdig, ngunit higit na hitik at nag-uumapaw sa pag-asa, galak at kadunungan…

Siguro namamahay lang ako…Hindi ko maiwasang isipin ang kalagayan ng pamilyang aking iniwan. Habang ako’y nasa komportableng sitwasyon siguradong sila ay patuloy na nilalabanan ang agos ng mahirap na buhay at walang humpay na umaasang balang araw babait din ang kapalaran…

Bakit nga ba ako nananagalog? Sa totoo lang, hindi ko rin alam kung bakit nitong nakaraang mga araw ay parang nangangati akong magsulat sa Tagalog. Marahil nangungulila lang ako sa sarili kong wika. Nakakahiya naman kasi kong hindi ako mahahasa sa linggwahe ng mga taong nais kong bigyang boses sa aking mga magiging ulat at dokumentaryo (sana!) sa hinaharap. Nakakalungkot ang katotohanang dito sa bansa natin, hindi ka matalino kung hindi ka magaling mag-Ingles. Ang karaniwang impresyon ng tao sa mga Atenista ay yong mga epistaxis (nosebleed) mag-Ingles. Kumsabagay, wala namang masama don pero ‘yon lang ba talaga ang nararapat na makita nila sa mga mag-aaral na hinubog at tinuruan para magsilbi sa kapwa, sa lipunan, sa bayan at sa Diyos?

Napakarami na rin ng mga gabing nakatingala lamang ako sa kalangitan at tinatanong ang aking sarili kung naisasabuhay ko ba ang mga adbokasiya at adhikain ng aking mahal na paaralan. May nagawa na nga ba ako para sa aking kapwa? May ginagawa ba ako para sa aking bayan? Ano ba ang magagawa ko para sa aking Diyos? Kahit hindi ko man laging masagot ng malinaw ang mga nakababagabag na mga katanungang ito, panatag ako dahil ang bawat paglubog ng araw ay nagdudulot ng panibagong pagkakataon at pag-asa upang masumpungan ang mga kasagutan, katotohanan at simpleng kaligayahang inaasam. Pero sa ngayon, kontento na akong panoorin ang buwan at ang mga bituin.

Balang araw, sa awa ng Diyos mababago ko rin ang takbo ng buhay ko at ng aking pamilya at ito ay dahil sa tulong nina Ate Bigz, Ma’am Judith, ng aming presidente na si Fr. Joel E. Tabora, SJ, benefactors ng Kristong Hari Foundation (KHF) at lahat ng taong tumulong sa akin at naniwala sa aking kakayahan. Isang napakalaking pribelihiyo ang maging iskolar subalit isa rin itong napabigat na krus na kailangang pasanin at mahalin.

Sana nga kapag dumating na ang takdang oras ko para pumunta sa “outside world”, sa labas ng mapagkalingang mga haligi ng aking Alma Mater, sana mapanatili ko ang impresyon ng mga tao sa husay mag-Ingles ng mga Atenista, higit sa lahat, minimithi kong maipakita at mapatunayan na ako ay nabiyayaan ng edukasyong hindi lamang nagtuturo kung paano maghanap-buhay kundi pati na rin (at lalong-lalo na) kung paano mabuhay. Ang mabuhay ng may misyon, paninindigan, pananampalataya at pagmamalasakit sa kapwa, sa bayan at sa Diyos…

At sana, makatulog na uli ako ng maayos…

Another year: to dream, to hope, to believe and to live

Not unlike so many others, I’ve once lost my faith in the Philippines and in the Filipino people. I had believed that the Pinoys’ dream is to be an OFW and so I took Nursing. It was a great attempt of escape out of the heavy traffic, procrastination, and the many social injustice that our society is infested with.

Then one fateful day, as I was lying like a dead thing on my bed, immersed in a terrible depression brought about by a series of financial blows and emotional overload, the most wonderful news came into my ears. My application for scholarship has been granted, loaded with benefits from a full assessment to a book and meal allowance. It was like a frost in the summer, a nourishing water to quench my thirst and a fuel to revive the dying embers of my soul.

I find myself asking “What have I done to deserve this?”. You see, I’m just one of those easy-go-lucky and idle guy who hasn’t given much thought to the lofty ideals: social awareness, social concern and social involvement. Then from its long slumber, my half forgotten inner epigrams awakened and so the question became “ What can I do to deserve this?”.

And that is how I came to choose the demanding and potentially perilous path of a student journalist…

As we welcome another year, amidst all the socio-political noise and the hardships brought about by the colossal global financial crisis. I pray that He would grant us the courage to fight for the preservation and protection of our rights to property, life and liberty that our heroes have painstakingly died for.

Because in spite of our various differences, socio-economic status, political color and religion, we are One People with a shared responsibility of defending our democracy and uniting our beloved Motherland. After all, there are more to Juan de la Cruz than his Mañana Habit and apathy. Our emotional closeness with families and friends, the admirable warmth of our hospitality, our resilience and adaptability that have been tested throughout history and across nations, our unquenchable cheerfulness and above all, our deep faith in God make us one of the most remarkable races in the world.

These are the traits that should stay with us this year and through our whole lifetime along with the stories of our Andres Bonifacio, our Dr. Jose Rizal, our “Ninoy” Aquino, our Mohammad and our Jesus Christ if we are to become and remain a great people. For great people are those who remain steadfast, enduring, hopeful and vigilant especially in the face of adversities and crisis. So let us face 2009 with our heads held up high, our backs straight and our eyes and hearts open. Let us maximize our tremendous potentials and not forget the endless possibilities we can do. Let us not despair. After all, to live is to dream. To dream is to hope. To hope is to believe. And to believe is to live.

Let us all dream of, hope for, pray for and act towards the building of a Filipino society beyond borders!

Arog ni Manoy

Sa pag-agi kan panahon

Kasabay kan pagluyos nin mga dahon

Kita gabos naggugurang, nagbabago.

Alagad masasabi daw niyato

Na kita talagang nakakanuod?

Nagrararom daw an satuyang pagtubod?

O baka habang ang edad nagdadagdag

Lalong napapagal ang satong kalag?

Tano daw ta kan kita mga sadit pa

Minawot tang magdakula na?

Alagad ngonyan na kita may isip na

Gusto na namang ibalik pa

Ang mga nakakagi na

Dai daw talaga kita nakukontento?

O talagang ang takot natural na sa tawo?

Minsan, nalilingawan ta lang

Na an mga emosyon dai dapat maging ulang

Sa pag-abot kan satuyang mga pangaturugan.

Kita nilalang na may mga sadiring kabuotan

Alagan kaibahan kan satuyang katalingkasan

Iyo an katungdan,

An pagdusay kan satuyang mga buhay

Sa katotoohan

Asin sa Saiyang kamurawayan.

Gabos kita may mga kakulangan

Asin mga kaluyahan.

Alagad kung pipilion niyato ang dalan

nin katanosan

An kadunongan, katoninongan

Asin kaogmahan

Satuyang malalaoman.

Lugod ang satuyang pagtubod

Asin an Saiyang pagkamoot

Maging ugat na hararom

Asin pano nin paglaom.

Siring kan matanos asin pusog na kahoy

Arog ni Manoy

A X'mas Message

Christmas,

Is a nice, deep well of replenishing water

After a long walk on a desert

Under the sun that doesn’t falter.

Christmas,

Is a heartwarming fire that awakens

The innate goodness of the human nature

And kindles and rekindles

The flame of generosity, faith and compassion.

Christmas,

Is a gentle breeze that cures and comforts

Even the weariest and most desperate of souls

This Yuletide Season

Amidst the rush, cares and concerns

I hope that we’d all seek for and turn to

Our Replenishing Water,

Our Kindling, Heartwarming Fire

And Our Curing, Comforting Breeze

But, more importantly, I pray that we could all be

All these nourishing things to others.

Amidst all the socio-political noise

And the hopelessness

Brought about by the colossal global financial crisis,

It is my deepest desire

That we may all remain steadfast,

Enduring and hopeful.

After all, to live is to dream.

To dream is to hope.

To hope is to believe.

And to believe is to live.

May the light, the mirthand the warmth

Of Our Beloved Christ’s Birth be with us always!

My 2008 Pinoy Media Congress Experience

Media Studies Students and Educators from all over the country gathered last November 27-29 at St. Scholastica's College, Singalong, Manila for the Pinoy Media Congress (PMC) Year 4 sponsored by the Philippines' Largest Media Company ABS-CBN.

Being a first timer delegate, I can't help but be overwhelmed by the mere size of the delegation - the St. Cecilia's Hall, an elegant auditorium was jam packed with over nine hundred (900) eager audience of Media Studies teachers,students and practitioners. Not to mention the amiable presence of ABS-CBN's top executives and personalities:Ms. Charo Santos-Concio, President, Ms. Cory Vidanes, Managing Director for Entertainment, Ms. Maria Ressa, News and Current Affairs Head, Ms. Charie Villa, News Gathering Head, Mr. Peter Musngi, Radio Head and Official Voice Over Announcer, Direk Laurenti Dyogi, Vivian Tin, March Ventosa, Raul Bulaong, Maria Java-Cuizon, Pinoy Dream Academy Season 2's Big Four (4): Liezel, Miguel, Bugoy and Laarni and even one of ABS-CBN's Senior Correspondent, the valiant and elegant Ms. Ces Orelia-Drilon.

The two and a half day conference consists of lectures and presentations on Latest Audience Measurement System, Ethics in Media Research, Role of research in Changing Newsrooms and Challenging Assignments, Evolving Media, Emerging Markets, Exciting Times, What's New with Women and Children in Philippine Media?, New Faces of Philippine Radio, TV going Digital, Corporate Communications: Effective and Inexpensive, etc. Plus panel discussions on Conflict - reporting and Independent films. Best of all is the open forum after lectures, presentations and panel discussions.

We, the students and future Media Practitioners in turn grabbed the rare opportunity to ask questions up close and personal from the Media icons of ABS-CBN, quite enthusiastically that the queue of half excited and half nervous students behind the four (4) microphones of the auditorium's balcony and orchestra was always longer than the allotted time for every open forum. Thanks to the quick- witted Ms. Maria Ressa, who came up with the simple, yet brilliant suggestion of letting the inquirers ask first and answer it later. But I really wonder where she got that mini notebook and pen that materialized on her hands right after that splendid idea.

Indeed the 2008 PMC experience was amusing, enriching and invaluable enough even without my sheer dumb luck and chance of asking challenging questions from Ms. Drilon, Ma'am Charo, Ms. Vidanes and Direk Dyogi and of course, the superb performance of my fellow Atenean, Ms. Jetty Laquindanum in the two (2) minute speech which made her one of the two winners, along with the female speaker from the Central Visayas region. I must say it was worth all the effort that the two of us (I and Jetty) exerted for that speech and the migraine caused by sleep deprivation.

But what struck me most about my PMC experience is the comforting fact that most, if not all of us in the Academic delegation are very reactive and critical to what we see on television and what we hear from and what we read in Mass Media in general.

"Don't lose hope in Philippine Media, because if you do why bother being here in the first place?" this is the closing line of one of the speakers in the two minute speech and I never could have agreed more. Indeed, there's hope for Pinoy Media because all 900 of us came there, most left their comfort zones, traveled far and wide and made ends meet with a modest budget. But at the heart of our consciousness, we know that our lives as future Media practitioners will ask relative and even greater demands from us. We know that in the end, we will be faced with the same dilemma of whether to give people what they want or what they need to see, to hear and to know. But in the meantime, I guess we can all start making a difference by making our lives consistent with the proverbial "The Greater Scheme of things”.